Flying High!

Hello new readers (if any!). My best kept secret is suddenly out in the open for all my facebook friends to see, thanks to the husband (still can't get used to the fact that I have one!). Funny how I liked to keep my virtual worlds separate - my blogging self/twitter persona different from the 'social me'. It wasn't intentional, just that I started writing really personal and embarrassing details, I didn't want people I knew to read it. In any case, not much harm done. Who has the time to read blogs these days!

Coming back to the being married part, this whole wedding business makes you think you are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you. I've been on a high past few days, don't think I've gotten this much attention before. And facebook further reinforces this with all the likes and comments people shower on you. But then for others it is just another event, another item on their news feed. Anyhow, its a nice feeling this, let me enjoy while it lasts.

Stepney

You were introduced to Glue sometime back, now to introduce a new term called the stepney. Does it often happen to you that you have made plans for the weekend with someone and they got canceled at the last minute, thanks to the other party? There is a good chance you might have been his/her stepney. Meaning you were that person's alternate plan and his/her last minute cancellation is an indication is that his/her primary plan has worked. I often end up being people's stepney and am stuck at home sulking most of the time. Its not fun being a stepney. While I myself have an embarrassing record of canceling on people I'd like to believe they were for genuine reasons and I usually let them know in advance that such a thing might/will happen. The extreme opposite of stepney is the kind of person who gets invited everywhere. I know one such person and I envy him so very much. I don't think he has ever initiated anything yet he gets to go on the most awesome trips. I cant exactly point out what it is that he has but some people are just born as main tyres.

In other news, what a start this year has seen! All the enthusiasm and optimism that I could muster at the beginning of the year has now successfully gone down the stinking drain. Anyhoo don't be a stepney, demand for commitment!

The End

What hurts most when a relationship is nearing end? Rejecting the other person or being rejected? Having been on the both sides I know it sucks either way. The guilt of being the bad person while you are the one rejecting and the downward spiral one descends into on being rejected. It never is easy.

Here is to another crappy year that is nearing end and hoping the next one will be better!

The Tag in which I talk about that four letter word

I am tagged. And its called ahem, 'The love tag' *blush*. Of all the things I could write about now, relationships is one topic I don't want to touch upon. But see rule 2 below. Since I am such a stickler for rules I'll let go of my guard and do just that. Rinchen, I hate you for making me do this.

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?
I'll walk out and think of ways to hurt him back. When I am done with the crying and plotting I'll get on with life.

2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
I'd want to go back in time and set few things right.

3. If you could, whose butt would you like to kick?
Theres only one person I can think of right now. And I cant mention him here.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
I'd buy a private jet and go beach hopping.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I am very much the fall in love with your best friend kinda person. But the problem is if break up you also lose your best friend.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?
I wouldn't wait.

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?
Bitch about the one he is attached to and then go find someone else to secretly like.

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?
This question makes me feel guilty. I used to volunteer at a children's home near by. I don't anymore but yeah it would have to do with providing basic education for kids. Theres so much talent out there its a pity lot of it goes wasted.

10. Do you lie?
Yes sometimes. Harmless ones.

11. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?
I cant see myself 3 months from now, 10 years is too far ahead. I hope I have enough stories to tell from all that I have done in the next 10 years.

12. What’s your fear?
Being lost, not finding my way out.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Rinchen, Shes witty, forthright and intelligent. So much I can tell from her writing and I love her blog! She also has good taste because we seem to have a lot in common.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

I am single and rich. Why cant I be married and rich?

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?
I somehow don't find myself in such situations.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Yes. Its not a relationship if you don't.

17. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?
Nope. Refer question 1.

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
Being in a relationship because that way there is always someone even if at times you have to hate that someone.

19. Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

The song from an old hindi movie that goes like this :

Aa chal ke tujhe, main le ke chaluun ik aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhii na ho, aansoo
bhi na ho bas pyaar hii pyaar pale

It talks about a better place. And someone taking you there. Its nice.

Too much mush. I am glad this is done.

And I tag only two people (who also happen to be my bestest buddies) so you guys have to do it 3 times each! Sorry no breaking the rules.

realistic dreamer : Time you started writing again.

raven : This will be your very first tag! Aren't you glad I tagged you now?

Glue

Are you friends with someone because he/she is a good friend of your friend. You know, A knows B, and B knows C. So A knows C. A, B and C hang out together and have a good time though if B is not around A and C are just ok, not that great together. B is the glue.

I am glue to few small groups but most importantly I know many glues and hence know quite a few people through the glues. But off late I am been lying low. Not doing a good job as glue. And not keeping in touch with glues. My social circle is thinning rapidly and this is not good news. All this because I have not been blogging/gtalking/orkut-facebooking/phoning as much.

So why have I been lying low? No apparent reason. Just. The change that I was dreading turned out to be great. Excellent, in fact. I am now a firm believer of the age old saying change is good. More on it later.

Anyhoo are you glue? Or more of a glue-befriender?

Kyunki padosi bhi humans hai

Yesterday night as I prepared to turn to bed, I heard loud voices followed by sounds of wailing women. Curious and worried I looked out of the window only to see my neighbour's family fight right in the middle of the road. There was some yelling, name calling, scuffles and few tears. The girl was to get engaged the next day, an inter-cast wedding, a drunk father, a house full of relatives, the scene was set for a typical family drama except it wasn't happening behind close doors but in the open for all to see. I kept watching them for sometime guiltily, hiding behind the drapes. Trying to piece together what might be happening and guessing who was who. Soon I got bored, the voices drowned and the silence of the night took over.

The problem with Indian families is that we worry too much about others, what they think and this whole so called 'image'. We prefer pretending to be perfect and put up a show even if the pretending is causing more damage. When such a thing happens people sympathize but are secretly glad to know that they are not alone. That lives of others, green as it may seem is not always so.

I think we should all once in our lives come out in the open, scream/shout/fight and stop pretending to be perfect. Because no one is anyway.

Today, the girl's engagement party went on with pomp and show, no one in the family showing the slightest trace of what happened yesterday. Because thats one good thing about Indian families, we stick together no matter what, even if it is just to put up a face.

I don't forget conversations. I remember your every word, the way you said it, the awkward pause, the disappointment in your voice. And I play them in my head over and over until I want to hear it no more. Sometimes I wish I hadn't said the things I said. Sometimes I wish I had said it better.