Sunday, October 11, 2009

If wishes were horses

I'm the kind of person who dwells in the past. I love looking back, replaying events in my mind and looking at it from all angles.

When I left Hyderabad few years back, I left behind a life and friends that I had dearly loved. I was the first to leave the group and every time I called them I'd be green with jealousy even if all they were saying was how the maid was on leave and they had to do the dishes. I hated the fact that I was not part of it anymore. It took me a great deal of time to make a new beginning when I eventually did there was no looking back.

Two months after my return from SLC I am going through a similar phase. I am struggling to disconnect and move on. Struggling to make a new start. And this time there is also this gnawing feeling that I am not even sincerely trying. Social networking sites are making it worse, photo and status updates on orkut/facebook are constant reminders of what I am missing.
I don't regret my decision to come back. I did what I had to do. But I wish could look ahead and plan my future rather than worry about whats gone. I wish.