Sysdate

Today I dreamed that I was visiting my brother in LA meeting his friends and then I have this deja vu like feeling and I start predicting what will happen next. I keep asking my brother what the date is and he says its 'sysdate'. I ask him again, 'No, no, tell me the year'. He says the same thing, sysdate. Then he notices that whatever I am predicting is coming true. Like, I say this friends brother will turn up in sometime and he does. And then I say this line 'I have seen all this happen before. And its not happened in the past. Its from the future'. Thats when I woke up.

Reunion

This friend of mine is visiting from US and she suggested that we organize a college reunion. Five years since we graduated, it will be interesting to meet everyone. This isn't a school reunion and everyone is more or less in the same profession so I was wondering what parameters they might use to judge others. I mean take any reunion movie, the nerds become super rich, the not so pretty turn into beautiful swans and the bullies end up as real life losers. We were all nerdy so its slightly harder to identify a 'success story'.

Here is a list of parameters I could come up with (I don't necessarily use these to judge others)

Is married

Married college sweet heart

Has kids

Living abroad

Studied further

Survived recession

Owns a Car

Owns a house

Gave up job to pursue dream/passion

Excelled in any other field
Aged well

I score pretty less in all above departments (except maybe the last one) but then I am not competing :P
Also while listing this I realized we often use such parameters to judge people we don't know well but not our close friends. Our friends, we revel in their success however small and grieve for their losses. For us they are always winners. Next time I brand someone as a failure, I'll remember that person could have been a friend.

Read-Only

Observing people is what I do best, I love being the bystander watching the world go by. I have been on read-only mode for past few days on twitter and facebook and I recommend that you do it too sometime. Resist that urge to say something and let others have their say. If you can manage to filter out the noise you will find people who inspire, people who do make a difference. Even conversations (between others) seem more interesting, many a times we are so bent upon getting our point across we fail to understand what others want to convey. As a silent observer, its easier to be non judgemental and unbiased. The downside of this read-only behaviour is that I tend to get too passive and derive amusement out of this rather than going out there and doing something myself. But once in a while, it is good to shut up and just listen.

My dog who unexpectedly fell sick was put to sleep today after 2 long weeks of suffering. Miss you B.

Update

Much has happened since the depressing post I put up last - festivals, a hectic vacation, gatherings and family get-togethers. All is well with the world again - well at least my world. For now.

If wishes were horses

I'm the kind of person who dwells in the past. I love looking back, replaying events in my mind and looking at it from all angles.

When I left Hyderabad few years back, I left behind a life and friends that I had dearly loved. I was the first to leave the group and every time I called them I'd be green with jealousy even if all they were saying was how the maid was on leave and they had to do the dishes. I hated the fact that I was not part of it anymore. It took me a great deal of time to make a new beginning when I eventually did there was no looking back.

Two months after my return from SLC I am going through a similar phase. I am struggling to disconnect and move on. Struggling to make a new start. And this time there is also this gnawing feeling that I am not even sincerely trying. Social networking sites are making it worse, photo and status updates on orkut/facebook are constant reminders of what I am missing.
I don't regret my decision to come back. I did what I had to do. But I wish could look ahead and plan my future rather than worry about whats gone. I wish.

Conversations

Them : We have to discuss this. Please let me know if 8:00 pm is a suitable time for you.
me : How about we schedule it in the morning, 10:00 am?
Them : No, I am not free. Please let me know if 8:00 pm is a suitable time for you.
me : Ok then, how about at 9:00 pm?
Them : I have a meeting. Please let me know if 8:00 pm is a suitable time for you.
me : Ok, it is.

----

Them : This is the design we came up with, please let me know if you have any suggestions.
me : Umm, it looks a bit complicated, how about we do this instead?
Them : No, it has already been approved and finalized by higher management and their higher management and by God himself. Nothing you ever say will make any difference, please let me know if you have any suggestions.
me : It looks good.

----

Four and 24 days.

I forgot my blog's birthday! That too when it turned 4, old enough to realize the ways of the world. I have reached heights of self obsession - forgetting MY blog's bday where I rant about ME.

Appy b'day bloggy, I'm sorryy!

3rd year birthday post
2nd year birthday post
1st year birthday post
0th year birthday post

Sentimental fool

That would be me. This is so typical of me. First, I complain when there is a big change about to happen in my life. Then I begin to love that change. And when its time to get back, I complain again.

I'll miss all of this. *sniff*

Now if you will excuse me I have some senti mails to send. See ya!

Escaping Reality

Is that even possible? Can one pause time, take a break from life and escape into a world unreal? Yet, many back home tell me that I am doing just that by being here. I am not escaping anything. The people I've met, the places I've seen, the lifetime of memories I've collected, those strong emotions, they are real. Unfortunately unless you have reached the milestones set by others for you, no matter what you do or achieve is as good as doing nothing at all. They mean nothing. I should learn to care less but it makes me sad. And in the process of convincing others I wonder if I am convincing myself. This is real. How can it be anything else?

Live and Loud

One of the first things I did after I had settled down was to look for listings of bands performing in town. I could recognize only 2 in the list, one was Travis and the other Keane. (It is ok if your reaction is 'who the hell are they'. I think worldspace (radio voyager) introduced me to both the bands. Look them up maybe you'll like their music) Anyhoo, I attended both the concerts. Travis performed to a smaller crowd and it almost felt like they were performing just for me. I had done my preparation well before they came to town and had grown very fond of their music. Frank Healy, the lead singer with his sexy Scottish accent and beautiful voice wooed the crowd. Even my friends who had never heard the band before ended up enjoying the whole night. This is easily one of the best live performances I have seen. Keane, I had decided to not go because I couldn't find company but changed my mind just hours before the show. A much well known band than Travis, this drew a big crowd. I did have a very good time but there was something amiss. I couldn't connect to them. And then, he (Tom) sang 'Somewhere only we know'. Beautiful, beautiful song.

Closer -Travis

Somewhere only we know - Keane

Live performances. Me likes. Makes me happy.

Bands/Artists I want to see performing live
- A R Rehman
- Sonu Nigam
- Shubha Mudgal
- Bon Jovi
- Green Day
- Coldplay
- Madonna

Will add more to this list, why cant I think of anyone else right now?

Las Vegas and The Grand Canyons

What man with all his money can do what nature with all its force can. I'm impressed.

PS : there will be no pictures. You seem them before a million times already, haven't you?

For you to come back

Living in the US creates an illusion of affluence. Life seems easier, money is good (especially when you convert to Rupees, heh) and it feels like there is always time to do things you want to. Even with the current economy and depression, people seem..whats that word-happy. I can see why people want to be here, it is this illusion that keeps everyone going. Back home in India, there is no escaping the troubles. They are constantly staring at you, it takes a humougous effort to look away and to be detatched.

Maybe I've got it all wrong, I haven't been here long after all. My friend tells me that I'm confusing living alone to living in the US. That my observations aren't accurate, reason why I like it here is because I'm on my own, there is no answering to anyone. I don't think so, I've lived alone before, in India it isn't the same. I've never been this busy in life and I've never enjoyed being this busy. As if I hadn't had enough to do, I've signed up for Kick boxing classes! I know this will all end soon and I'll have to go back to the life (which btw wasn't as bad as I make it sound). I hope I take back with me this enthusiasm and this energy. I hope I don't let the petty issues bog me down, maybe one need not be detached, maybe there is some middle ground one needs to find?

When I asked my eleven year old cousin brother what he wanted from America, his reply was 'For you to come back'. Sigh! While life here is good I must not forget things and people important to me. Will call him this weekend, I'm sure he wouldn't mind something other than just my coming back.

Sleepless in Seattle..

...only because I stayed up late catching up with The Friend. Raven was missed muchly.
Daffodils at Skagit valley


Pike place market


Lake Washington


The Space needle View from top of Space Needle


Langley, Whidbey island

Possession beach, Whidbey island

Stay hungry, Stay foolish...and perhaps selfish too?

Best Friends

I get to meet a lot of people because I frequently move in and out of projects at work. Which is a good thing you might say but it is also increasingly difficult to keep up the friendship. The last time I made best friends was in Hyderabad, almost four years back. And only one later, no wait four more in the last four years. I need more best friends, not just friends.

Weekend in LA

Itinerary :
Day 1 : Breakfast at Paradise Cove, Malibu, watched a few wild street performances at Venice Beach, went to Hollywood Boulevard, drove around Sunset Boulevard, walked along Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills, attended a dinner party where I was the guest of honour!

Day 2 : Universal Studios, Shopped at Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica, watched sunset at Santa Monica Peir.


Interestingly the most fun I had on the trip was the dinner party, meeting new people and getting to know their views on the city. Most of them sympathized with me because I lived in Utah. I don't really mind, coming from chaotic B'lore the peace and quiet of Salt Lake City is suiting me. I guess I now finally got a glimpse of the real America, it is pretty but maybe only from a distance. Will try to visit LA one more time before I leave. Finally a line I came up with 'LA is what Mumbai could have been and Bangalore should have been'. Whatever that means.

Blogpost format courtesy Balaji

Thank you!

This place has been kind to me so far. I've settled in. I've made friends. I have fun, sometimes I think way too much. I am lucky. Lucky to have a job in these times. Lucky to have found the people around me. Lucky to have gotten this opportunity. I am thankful. I really am.

Acclimatization

Burnt ocra for dinner today. I am out of practice, not that I was a good cook but at least I never burnt food before :(. And whats with the taps here? Every single tap is engineered to make it as difficult as possible to for a newbie to figure out how to turn it on and why are there so many choices! I just want to buy cough drops to help me soothe my throat, don't waste my time throwing me a million flavours to choose from.

Few pics of the snow clad mountains. Havent been able to organize my thoughts well enough to put up a decent post, you will have to make do with this.

I want to hold your hand

This song played in a loop on the flight from Paris to SLC and is now stuck in my head. New place and a new life, expect very many senti/predictable entries from a first timer in Amricaa.

Oh yeh, I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand,
Then I'll say that something,
I wanna hold your hand...

Stepney

You were introduced to Glue sometime back, now to introduce a new term called the stepney. Does it often happen to you that you have made plans for the weekend with someone and they got canceled at the last minute, thanks to the other party? There is a good chance you might have been his/her stepney. Meaning you were that person's alternate plan and his/her last minute cancellation is an indication is that his/her primary plan has worked. I often end up being people's stepney and am stuck at home sulking most of the time. Its not fun being a stepney. While I myself have an embarrassing record of canceling on people I'd like to believe they were for genuine reasons and I usually let them know in advance that such a thing might/will happen. The extreme opposite of stepney is the kind of person who gets invited everywhere. I know one such person and I envy him so very much. I don't think he has ever initiated anything yet he gets to go on the most awesome trips. I cant exactly point out what it is that he has but some people are just born as main tyres.

In other news, what a start this year has seen! All the enthusiasm and optimism that I could muster at the beginning of the year has now successfully gone down the stinking drain. Anyhoo don't be a stepney, demand for commitment!

Have been advised not to blog today but seriously, what the fuck!

There's always a new start..

Resolution for the year is to crib less and do more. Happy new year all you peoples!